Financial anxiety affects us all at some point. While a bit of stress can be motivating, there are times when it becomes overwhelming, impacting our health, businesses and families. Financial anxiety is that gut-wrenching feeling you get at 3am, worrying about your finances and future.

You may have lost your job or are afraid you might. Your business is struggling, and you don’t know where to start fixing it. You’re maxed out on stress, and life feels far from rosy. What can you do?

When financial anxiety hits, we often enter fight, flight or freeze mode. “Keep calm and carry on” sounds nice but can be challenging to practice when bills need paying and mouths need feeding.

Anxiety narrows our focus, making decision-making difficult. It’s like having blinders on, unable to see options right before us.

In fight mode, we want to act but feel stuck, which can lead to anger and blaming others for our financial troubles. In freeze mode, we become compliant, following suggestions without much thought because making decisions feels too hard. This can result in rationalising and a loss of control.

Financial anxiety can strain relationships, personal and business. You and your partner may respond to stress differently, making it harder to function effectively and increasing stress levels, potentially causing the relationship to suffer.

Face mode

The goal is to move from fight, flight, or freeze mode, to face mode. In face mode we feel more connected to ourselves and our partners, allowing us to take constructive action and see options and possibilities again. This is a healthier state in which we can maintain or improve our situation.

Here are some dos and don’ts to help you keep calm and start facing your financial fears:

• Don’t do nothing. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away

• Do a financial inventory. List what you own and what you owe. Identify items you can sell and conversations you need to have with creditors to set up payment plans

• Communicate with your family. Share your situation with your partner and immediate family. You may feel like a failure, but their support and understanding are crucial. Explain to your children that finances will be tight for a while so they can help out, too

• Do create a budget. Focus on your essential needs, not wants. Determine the bare minimum you need to meet your basic needs

• Don’t blame yourself. Take responsibility but avoid self-pity. Move into action as quickly as possible

• Do adjust your lifestyle. Acknowledge the change in your circumstances and adapt accordingly, even if it’s temporary

• Do seek advice. Find a mentor if your business is struggling, an HR recruiter if you’ve lost your job, or a budget adviser if you need financial help. Lean on friends and family for emotional support.

Stuff happens to everyone. How you deal with it determines how quickly you recover. Choose not to bury your head in the sand. Take proactive steps to get your life back on track and remember: keep calm and carry on!